Someone We Should Know

by Bernadette Kubacki 

The most important discoveries I have made about what I needed to know in life I learned from observing my parents—observing and forming opinions about what I saw.

They both worked at full-time jobs, and I recognized that some day I had to do the same.  So, I had to figure out what skills I wanted to use to earn money.  Not an easy task. What worked for me was recognizing some skills that I thought I could do well--and then aiming to learn them. The path was not short, and I would need to do varied jobs along the way. I appreciated the freedom given by my dad who, when asked by family, “Who does she take after?” would say, “She takes after herself.”

In addition to their full-time jobs, my parents helped family and friends on the weekends.  I discovered that I also liked being a helper--by giving information, by clearly explaining something, by performing a task for others, and by being a good listener, especially during “telephone appointments” that my busy family and friends need to make with each other in order to be sure we speak monthly. I like humor and telling jokes—so, if a phone conversation is rather serious, I use my collection of joke books and share those before we end a conversation.

A big gift from my father’s family was music—moving with it and singing. It is the gift that keeps on giving, and I am grateful to use it with the Village Vocals.  It was my pleasure to introduce my grandfather’s tribute song to his mother during the May monthly meeting, in honor of all of our mothers.

I discovered I love using words—so I play scrabble and make cards by penning my own words and thoughts and using photographs I have taken.

I can lose track of time while walking in gardens. 

Over time, I have learned to do what I have time and ability to do. To remove some of the pressure I have placed on myself to get more done and to make adjustments as my abilities change, I’ve learned to remember it is a good thing to care for self before trying to care for others—consider the reminder that on an airplane, we must place the oxygen mask on ourself first, so that we can help others.

The opportunities for movement I seek are provided by TVSD in its various exercise classes. The village also provides connections with what I most appreciate from others—time spent together, and touch.  I have also learned it is best to be respectful and say to an acquaintance, “I would like to hug you; is that okay?”  Smiles and/or hugs usually follow.

I am happy in Tierrasanta.  This summer marks my 50^th year as a San Diegan.

I would like to be remembered as saying, “Be curious, be present, and enjoy the garden.”